Who is Nancy Todd and why does she hate Arkansas?
May 15, 2012 11 Comments
Let me tell you this. In the future, when I approach the mailbox, it will be done with much more caution. People, I am scared to death. Terrified. Mortified. Objectified. Every kind of “-fied” you could possibly imagine. This is serious business, so let me come right to the point.
Who is the witch Nancy Todd and who does she think she is anyway?
Bring casino gambling to Arkansas? No sir! Not on Charlie Cella’s gold fillings! The people of Arkansas are a kindly and moral people and we don’t take to gambling. We certainly do not like “unregulated” casinos, but “Las Vegas insider Nancy Todd” is moving to peaceful God-fearing Arkansas armed with her evil pomps and Satanic schemes.
I learned all this in the mail, mind you.
Nancy Todd plans to move in just like this is a free country and anybody can cross state lines and take up residence wherever they darned well please. She will prey on weak minded Arkies, steal our hard earned money, and funnel it directly to some Mafia Don. IT WAS ALWAYS YOU, FREDO!
I learned all this in the mail today. Nancy Todd must be stopped!
It might have helped if they had included some sort of picture of Ms. Todd so we would know, but I guess you can’t put everything on even an over-sized, full color, slick political mailer. That picture of the Arkansas baby is very nice, however. That is an Arkansas baby, isn’t it? This could not possibly be a full-color, over-sized, slick mailer designed and produced by an out-of-state ad agency!
BABY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES!
Anyway, Nancy Todd has her minions out circulating petitions. There is a phone number you are supposed to call if you encounter one of these purveyors of Armageddon doom. Presumably, you will be connected directly with the Department of Homeland Security.
Forget Wall Street, J. P. Morgan, the Greek collapse, socialists in France, and Barack Husein Obama. This, dear friends, is the end of life as we know it (unless, of course, you count Tunica of the “games of skill” at Oaklawn or the dog track).
Don’t go out tonight!! They’re bound to take your life! There’s a bad moon on the rise!