Open carry? You bet'cha!!!

It is a little surprising to see all of the hesitancy among legislative Republicans about proposed “open carry” laws. They get to Little Rock and otherwise rock solid God-fearing patriots just plain turn to mush. It must be the permissive lifestyle and the free-flowing Hooch served by painted women. Yes, the libertine poison of free thinking and tolerance is flowing freely!

Let me tell you right now that this left leaning, pinko-commie, Obama loving, welfare state upholding, high-speed rail loving, neo-socialist, former ACLU card-carrying, public transit supporter is real big on guns. I would have an arsenal automatic, semi-automatic, assault rifles along with grenades, bazookas and one or two tactical nuclear weapons, except that Marie will not let me buy even one.

But if Marie Lynch would allow her loving and faithful husband the rights accorded by the all ruling and sacred Second Amendment, I would be packing day and night. In church? Absolutely, and let me tell you right here that I do not attend one of those outfits that pours out grape juice. We Anglicans sip on real wine and I take special comfort i knowing that my brothers and sisters are well prepared, just in case we migth ahve some sort of problem. Just like the Good Book says, “praise the Lord and pass the ammunition.”

Hells bells! Have any of you ever watched Gunsmoke? Everybody’s packing there and what could possibly go wrong? Yes, Miss Kitty had a few little rumbles down at the Long Branch, but we should just think of that as another way of straightening out the gene pool. An armed society is a good orderly and respectful society. I’d just like to see some pesky outsider pull into one of my assigned condo parking places without asking first. BOOM! Blow ‘em away! End of problem  Magazine salesman shows up at the front door, same thing. Life is good.

Of course, not everybody has my innate common sense and cool headed judgment. Passing an open carry law will not solve every social ill, but it’s a start.