In Praise of the Broken Home – Opinionator Blog – NYTimes.com

Excuse me for saying so, but this is “a-load-‘a-crap.” Let us examine, first of all, the credentials of the author. Now, I realize that this tactic probably smacks of an elitist patriarchal need to dominate, but maybe somebody should have some background on a subject before they unload in the New York Times.

Ellen Lupton is the curator of contemporary design at the Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum and the director of the master’s program in graphic design at the Maryland Institute College of Art. She is the author of many books, including “Design Your Life” (with Julia Lupton) and “Thinking with Type.”

To tell the truth, this essay has just set me off. My mother divorced her first husband in the 1930s and the response of society and church was anything but nurturing or in any way reasonable. My parents (her second marriage, his first)  were married by a Catholic priest in his office and my father was denied burial from the church, despite having received Extreme Unction only hours before his death.

I grew up with a half-brother (at least for a few years) and I know what it is to be part of a “broken home.” To be as charitable as possible, my parents were loons. They stayed together “for the children.” My parents were so far from the perfect parents, but, by damn, they understood the importance of stability

Yes, children are resilient. Without meaning any disrespect, so are survivors of concentration camps. Human beings will figure out a way to survive most of the time. That is no excuse for deliberately placing them in the most disadvantageous situations.

Forget about “broken homes.” Let us think about broken human beings. People change relationships like they change socks. We are looking for some sort of romantic perfection rather than the image of God. Divorce is so much the product of a culture that demands perfection, satisfaction, competition, and and endless succession of self-pleasing choices.

Yes, I am a divorced man. Blame that one me entirely. I must add that the original Mrs. Lynch and I had no children. That would have (should have) made things different. The second marriage is much more contented, and we are seriously committed to the idea of “till death do us part.”

If broken homes were so gosh-darned praiseworthy, there would be a ton of evidence to back that up, but all we see is social disorder and emotional distress. Divorce is too easy. Bad behavior needs to be punished. This interior decorator is full of nonsense. Read for yourself.

via In Praise of the Broken Home – Opinionator Blog – NYTimes.com.

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About patlynch
I am a broadcaster in Arkansas, a former freelance writer and political columnist in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Writing Coach. Speaker. Director of the Christian Foundations for Ministry program, and presently enrolled in the Anglican School of Ministry Master of Ministry program.

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